Grieving the loss of a loved one
“Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.” — Anonymous
Grief can be described as a natural response to loss. It is the anguish or pain you feel after the loss of a loved one or when something you love is taken away. The pain can be intense and heartbreaking, and can also feel overwhelming. One can experience a wide array of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock, disbelief, anger, guilt and fear to profound sadness.
Grief can also significantly disrupt one’s physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat and concentrate. It is important to know that these are normal ways to react to grief; the depth of your pain is proportionate to the importance of what you have lost.
While grief is universal, the specific pain is individual: what the loss means to us, how we mourn, the regrets we may have, and the emptiness left. According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, “grief is as individual as the person experiencing it; no two grief experiences are alike”
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s greatest challenges. We mostly associate grief with bereavement, which is often the cause of the most intense form of grief. This grief can be intense and destabilising, deeply affecting your life and your inner world. Yet many people do not take the time to process their grief, nor are they encouraged to do so. In some cases, if grief is not processed, it can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and isolation.
Other losses we experience in life
Although loss of a loved one is the most intense form of grief, grief also extends beyond bereavement to include all kinds of life changes and disruptions. These include:
- Divorce or Relationship Breakup
- Loss of a job
- A miscarriage
- Retirement
- Loss of cherished dreams
- Loss of close friends/friends/adult children through emigration
How grief counselling helps:
Grief counselling, sometimes called bereavement counselling, is a time and place where you get to talk about your losses and how these have affected your life. It helps you to navigate the turbulent waters of loss. Grief counselling can help you to accept and process the complex feelings you are experiencing, ultimately leading to a healthier emotional state. In time, you will embark on a path of gradual adjustment to a new reality, one where your emotions are acknowledged, and your resilience strengthened.